Eternal Sunshine of Spotless Mind
“Hi, I was suffering from Mild depression and mood swings from my childhood but unfortunately never knew how to deal with them and where to take help in the country where I came from. When I reflect on my past experiences, thoughts, actions and emotions I was always trying to fight back my negative thoughts about myself and take a leap into positivity but I did not have enough strength. I remember being emotionally bullied in my school by few classmates and had encountered physical abuse from strangers. I was trying but I kept falling down and I was always spiraling down and down and one day I gave up and thought it was of no use for me to live. But, I knew this thought is a sign of utter weakness and very wrong so I lived but only with apathy and lifelessness in my life. Few of the negative thoughts in my mind were due to the people I am surrounded with who were hurting me with their words and the way they treated me. I was always put down and mocked and disrespected by them. I am a soft-spoken, gentle and kind person and I am just scared of people who dominate me and make me feel worthless and powerless in their presence. There were times where I was so excited and elated but there were moments where I was drowned in utter despair and gloominess and did not know how to unveil myself out of it. That is the reason I always like to alone with myself and isolated by not having much social life. Sometimes, when I look back I realize that I do not have any deep relations with anyone and I am a loner. But, that do not work in this world and you should know to deal with people. All the past memories, situations, thoughts and my daily routine were too much for me to handle during my semester and I could not focus upon my work and I was always crying and thinking of ways how I can end all this pain.
I am so glad that I took the help of psychological services to know about how your own mind works and how you can alter your thoughts to improve the outcomes. It gave me strength and knowledge regarding the way we can change bad thinking patterns and take actions that can create positive thoughts in our mind so that we can become strong and the way we want to design our life. After all, we are what we think about ourselves. I am happy that from past two years my outlook of life had changed and I met few beautiful friends and people in my journey who were with me during my bad and good times and finally I knew how to speak up for myself and stand my ground so that I could be balanced and happy again.
"Everybody's got to learn something" in this beautiful journey of life.”