Tricia Knoles
Tricia Knoles, a sergeant in Kent State University Police Services, has been at the university for 18 years and now is studying for a degree in public relations. Among other duties, she is the department’s public information officer, oversees the interdepartmental peer support team for first responders, serves as the police liaison team leader for the Portage County Critical Incident Stress Management Team and as peer support for the Ohio Assist and Mental Health Team. She has seen her fair share of emotionally taxing situations—and says she joined the campaign because she understands what it’s like to feel overwhelmed.
One thing about being a first responder is that we are susceptible to a lot more critical incidents and traumatic events. According to the Ruderman White Paper [on Mental Health and Suicide of First Responders], the average citizen may experience one, possibly two, traumas within their lifetime. A police officer will experience approximately three traumatic incidents every six months, which is 150 to 180 critical incidents or traumatic events over their career.
Two years ago, my son-in-law died by suicide. And then, five weeks later, my brother died unexpectedly from COVID. We were best friends. That was a very rough patch for me. The most difficult thing for me was to say, “No, I can’t do that right now.” Or to say, “If we get a CISM [critical incident stress management] callout, I can’t go.” Because one of the things that I have learned is that busyness is one of my coping skills—and it’s not the healthiest coping skill.
I am very involved in peer support on my job, so as soon as that happened with my son-in-law and brother, I knew I needed to start practicing what I preach. I contacted three of my peer supports and our head mental health clinician and let them know what I was going through. That way I knew they were going to check up on me. And they knew what was going on in case I needed to call and talk to them. I think one of the best things we can do for self-care and healing is to find a trusted support person or mental health clinician to talk with.
Also, during that time, my department colleagues took care of me. They encouraged me to take time off, called to check in on me, and came over twice with gift cards, groceries and food. They’re just amazing.
I’ve started doing things now that I didn’t do two years ago, when everything was happening. Every month, I get a massage. Almost every night, I sit on my deck and watch the sunset. I take time to just be in the moment.
I can’t tell you how many people, when they found out that my brother passed, reached out to me saying, “Hey, I experienced that, too.” I would have never known. I think that the more people talk about their mental health struggles, the more it will help somebody else, because then they know that they’re not alone.