The realization that your student is heading off to college has set in and, suddenly, a wave of emotions hits you like a ton of bricks. It is normal for parents to be joyful and sad, simultaneously reminiscing while hoping for a promising future. Although this time in your student's life may be stressful, it could be stressful for you as well. However, success lies in learning how to adjust to this new normal and begins with trusting that you have equipped your student with the tools necessary to thrive.
As your student prepares to take this next step, here are some pointers for you to consider:
1) LIVE IN THE MOMENT
Breathe and relish in this time of celebration with your student. Before you know it, graduation will have passed and Destination Kent State (DKS) New Student Orientation will be upon you. Take time to attend end-of-year senior events and plan family quality time before their departure.
2) ATTEND Destination kent state (DKS)
Orientation programs are the gateway to the university information highway. They provide updated information on university policies, expectations, and deadlines; introduce key faculty and staff connections; and allow students, parents, and families to interact with one another. Even if this is not your first rodeo, attending orientation may still be fruitful because services and initiatives at universities are constantly being improved and developed. Therefore, a refresher course on offerings may be beneficial.
3) LEARN ABOUT PROGRAMS DESIGNED TO ENGAGE PARENTS AND FAMILIES
Several colleges and universities offer various programming that allows parents and families to stay involved and informed. These communications may range from Parents and Families Weekend to newsletters, social media groups/postings, parent councils/associations and various volunteer opportunities. Building a community of your own to ask questions, seek advice and share experiences will create a sense of belonging and camaraderie. In addition, it connects you with others going through the same experiences.
4) KEEP A FOLDER OF NECESSARY COLLEGE PAPERWORK, PASSWORDS, ETC.
It is essential to keep college documents, such as loan paperwork, passwords, confirmation emails, tax information and forms, all in one location. Place these items in a folder or locked drawer for easy access, simplifying the process when needing to locate documentation when needed.
5) SET BOUNDARIES AND EXPECTATIONS
Whether this is your first or last student to leave the household, no transition to college is the same. Some students will hit the ground running while others will need time to ease into this new world of independence. Let them know that no matter what situations arise, you will be there for them.
Consider discussing the following:
- Handling Conflict – Reassure your student that there are individuals and services on campus to assist with any need and conflict which may arise. You may want to spring into action to help; however, established laws protect their privacy (FERPA). Suggest they start with someone they trust, such as their academic advisor, residential assistant, or professor. They can also seek assistance from a multitude of individuals in campus life, cultural and identity affiliation, and the Dean of Student and Ombud. Encourage them to use the resources available to them on campus and circle back to you with updates.
- Communication – You are always a phone call away, and communication is a two-way street. Establish an understanding of how often you plan to communicate. You may want to touch base two to three times a week during the adjustment period, understanding that the touchpoints may wane as the semester progresses. However, during critical times during the semester (i.e., course registration, midterms and finals), you may want to make it a point to check in more frequently. Ensure that your student is checking emails so they don't miss important information and deadlines. Ask your student to sign you up for Flash Alerts and grant you FERPA access to their account.
- Grant Some Grace – This should be a time of exploration and self-development for your student. Be supportive of their endeavors to take risks (safely), get involved, and grow. They will not become an exceptional college student overnight. This endeavor will take some time as they learn the ins and outs of college life. Be patient and know there will be successes and failures. Celebrate the wins and coach them through the losses, encouraging them to seek help if needed.
6) ENJOY THIS NEW CHAPTER OF YOUR LIFE
After 18 years of parenting, it can be challenging to let go of the reigns; you were there for every milestone of their life. Now is the time to sit back and bear the fruit of your labor. Watching your student grow and mature into a young adult is a rewarding experience. Also, don't forget to invest in yourself! Take this time to start a hobby, take a class or two, join an organization or get involved with community service opportunities. You may be amazed by what you can learn about yourself now that you have the time to refocus on yourself.